Adult Performer, Model & Trailblazer: An Interview with Natassia Dreams

Author: Natassia Dreams

Natassia Dreams is an iconic adult performer and high fashion model. She has been in the adult industry for over a decade and earned recognition with an XBIZ EU Award and three AVN Lifetime Achievement nominations. Here, she speaks with The Sex Ed about succeeding professionally as a trans woman of color in both the fashion and adult worlds; her recent gender confirmation surgery; directing porn; advice for those who may be struggling with their identity; and much more.

How did you get your modeling and adult careers started?

I moved to New York in a dream and a prayer. I just wanted to come and discover myself, and find who I really was, because I lived in a small town. I didn't think of modeling or anything, I didn't really have a profession, a set plan in mind. I was just like, "Oh, I'm going to go to New York. What happens, happens. I have a dream, I'll make something." You know, if they say you can make it there, you make it anywhere.

I got scouted to be a model. I was working in the nightclubs, and hanging out. Everybody kept telling me, "You should be a model, you should be a model, you should be a model, you should be a model." I was like, "Do models make money?" So, I did a fashion show, and then that just blew up because I was a new face, Black girl, there were very few Black models. I worked in modeling for a while, but it was very complicated because of my body type, it was very voluptuous. Now, fashion is changing, but this was years ago, and at the time you had to be like a skeleton. So, I was running into complications because I was really skinny on the bottom, but I was always a little bit top-heavy, and I had bigger boobs.

So I said, "Okay, this is cute, but I'm hearing a lot of ‘No’s,’ and people weren't really sure about me. I thought, "Well, I'm a sexual person," so I started to do sex work to survive, obviously, and to pay for my transition. And then, the whole adult industry just literally came onto my lap, and offered me a movie and I was like, "Okay, sure." I thought it was a means to an end at first, I just needed a lump sum of money because I was relocating. I had just moved to Miami and I was trying to get myself situated with a partner of mine, so I said, "You know what? Money is money, it's not growing from the trees."

[Porn was safer than sex work because] I wasn't exposing myself to so many other men and it was a semi-controlled environment, it wasn't as controlled as it is now. But I was like, "This is better, I don't have to be dependent on any guys and answering phones or whatever," so I got into porn. It was just like a means to an end, I did a couple scenes or whatever, and I didn't really think anything of it, and they just started calling me, and calling me, and calling me and I was like, "Wow!" 

Then the rates got bigger, and I started shooting more, and then I made a community in the industry, and I said, "Okay, this is cool, I can do this," and I was able to express myself sexually. I was able to find who I was sexually, what I was attracted to, what I like, I got to experiment a lot. I've always been an experimenter in my life personally, so it was good to be getting paid for it as well.

I did porn for a while. I would dibble and dabble, [but at a certain point] I was living a whole different life in Europe, and I had a partner I was in a long-term relationship with. I was faithful, and he didn't even know that I was this huge big adult star, because he was a model and he knew I was a model. So, I was moonlighting a lot, and keeping secrets, and then I finally told him and he was okay with it. Then I just stopped, because I was living in Europe, and I was self-sufficient. And then I would come back [to the States] every summertime, and would be contacted by people in porn who would say, "Oh, you're in town? Here, we’ve got three shoots for you." I would do those three shoots, and then I would disappear. I did that for probably 10 years to be honest. I would come and go, and shoot a couple scenes a year, and just disappear and live my life, and it was perfect.

I was sitting in Spain one day, and I was with my boyfriend, and I saw all my friends on the cover of a magazine. And I said, "Wow, this is the time. We're finally getting our recognition, we're on the cover of a magazine." There were really close friends of mine that I've known for years, so it was like I was on the cover. I looked at my boyfriend and I said, "Babe, I know this is the time right now where I can work in my field as a model and be me, who I am. I don't have to lie about anything, we're being accepted," I said to him, "I'm going to go throw myself in and see what happens, and if anything, you can come afterwards and let me get myself situated." I did that, and I was [in New York] for two years, and our relationship fizzled, but then my career blew up.

How has porn changed for trans performers? 

Well, now, the agents are really supportive and they finally came along to letting their performers do what they want to do, and perform who they want to perform with, which is great to see because before, it was total segregation. Trans performers are over here, everybody else over there. We would mesh together, but the other performers wouldn't even acknowledge us or talk to us, and it was just a really, really bad experience. So I'm glad we fought for what we deserve, and people started to wake up and notice the mistakes that they were making. They started to correct it and felt bad, so I got to see that.

I got to see a lot of different genres. Back when I started, it was like, boy-girl, and black-and-white. Maybe you had an Asian performer sprinkled in the mix, but it was not as diverse as it is now. I will say though, the camaraderie before was way better, because it was a small-knit community and everybody knew each other, we all worked together. I've seen that change, but I'm also happy that other performers, non-binary performers, and I love trans men performers. I'm directing for this site called PansexualX, where you can have sex with whoever you want. And I love that it has big-name girls setting an example of doing what they want to do. 

I loved to see that change, I also liked to see the change as well as the power in the performers. I'm loving to see the performers directing now. The performers have total control with all of their content, with their image, with who they want to work with, because it was not like that before. You didn't have a choice of anything, they would put you on some names of some movies that you wouldn't even want to think about that you're on the cover of that movie, and so it's good to see the progression. It needs a lot of work because there's still a lot of smoke and mirrors. I will say, from being in the industry and people know me, I'm 100% honest and I've seen this shift from decades. So it's a lot, it's smoke and mirrors, but it is progressing, and I love that.

I love the male performers are also being celebrated for being pansexual and doing all kinds of scenes, because before, that just never happened. And it still sucks to happen, male performers get blacklisted for working with trans or bi and then it's just like, "Come on, you guys, everybody's having sex with everybody." And the funny thing about it, the civilian that the performers are probably having sex with off camera is having sex with everybody too. And they're not testing, they're not knowing nobody's status, so what's the difference? It just baffles me.

What's it like being behind the camera versus in front of it?

I had an experience behind the camera with Kink.com. After like eight years working with them, they asked, "Hey, do you want to direct your own scenes?" And I said, "Yeah, sure." They gave me extra money. It's easier and harder. It's easier because you don't have to tell yourself what to do. But it's harder too, because sometimes you want to see the shot, and you can't see it because you're in the middle of the scene!

Evil Angel and Aiden Starr were amazing. She came up with this website called PansexualX, and she's a good friend of mine. I've known her from the Kink days, and I just love that she fought hard for what she believed in, and she wanted representation. She didn't want the talk, she wanted the walk, and she literally went to bat for me to get me as the director, and to get me a contract, and yeah, they gave it to me. It's working really well, I feel really happy to be offered that position with such a big company, and to bring my idea to life, and my creativity, and give a different side of porn that not everybody gets to see. So, it's not my site, it's Aiden's, I'm just guest directing for now. And I have a contract for sixteen, I did three before my surgery, and I'm doing three afterwards, which is cool too. I don't think that's been done.

I'm really excited to have the opportunity. It's fun to be behind the camera, I'm very creative. I do have a heavy fashion background of being a model, so I love to bring the two worlds together and class it up and vice versa with the modeling. I love that creativity part of it, and I hope to continue that. Once I stop performing, I would love to just direct and even be a consultant. I'm always going to be around, but someday, sometime I'll have to lay it down.

How has receiving gender confirmation surgery changed your life? 

I've always wanted it, but I had put it on the backburner for survival reasons. It was just going through my head of my options, and taking a big safety net that I had that was secure, and removing it and building a new one. I finally went to a consultation, they gave me a date for like a year in advance, and I was like, "Great, that gives me time." Then they called me back and they were like, "You have three months," and I was like, "Wow."

It was literally like that, and I'm freaking out because you have to do all the prep, which is the hair removal, and it's a stressful time. It was kind of really stressful. But I always wanted the surgery, I got the date, everything worked perfectly. I had the money saved. It was winter time, so it was perfect to just hibernate. I took the opportunity to do that, and I had surgery, and when I was going through recovery, I was in my head asking, "Okay, what am I going to do afterwards? Am I going to shoot?" And then I asked, "I have my contract, but can I put somebody else to perform in it?" And then I told myself, "You know what..."

In my history, I know some girls had their surgery, and they came back to shoot, but it didn't really go over so well, we don't have any other examples [of girls who perform before and after surgery]. I'm sure a lot of the girls are me, they want to have surgery, but they also didn't want to because they have to survive, and that's your bread and butter. I was like "You know what, I'm going to give this moment. I'm going to be yet another example of representation. I can lead by example.”

I went back and forth with myself, because this is also a precious moment, and I've been waiting for it. At the end of the day, when I rest my head, I want to say I did what I could to make a change, I did what I could to make a ripple. I know it's not going to happen overnight, I know one person can't change anything, but the least that I can do for my conscience, and my spirit, and my soul is, do what I can to represent for the underdogs that don't have representation, that don't have a voice. So, I decided to do this scene when I started feeling better. Recovery was rough. It was a good three months that I was in the house and recovering.

We casted Kira Noir. I was like, "Kira's hot, we're brand ambassadors for Pornhub, so we have that relationship." Before transitioning, I think I had a block because I wasn't really who I was. So now that I'm who I am completely, and I feel in my own skin, I'm really more attracted to women [than men] now. So, it's total mindfuck. [My scene with Kira] was my first time literally having sex, because I still haven't been penetrated yet. And it was with a girl, and it was so amazing because it was soft and passionate and hot, and we didn't act at all, we just did what we wanted to do and it came out really good.

It’s  getting a really good response, and I'm really happy that everybody's being so supportive. I was so moved. When it came out, I was shaking. I was like, "Oh my God, people are going to be like, 'What did she do to herself?'" Because I've seen it, I've been around and I've seen the comments, and I've seen how mean the fans can be. But luckily it's a sprinkle of that, but it's like 90/10%. That also makes me feel good that I'm doing the right thing, and people are very positive and supportive. Even the girls have written to me like, "Wow, you're such an inspiration," and that just makes me feel so good. So, I'm glad that I took that step, I'm glad that I shared it. I'm glad that I can be an example and shake this shit up a little bit.

Aside from your attraction to women being different now, have you noticed any changes in your sex life post-surgery?

Well, I noticed now I'm more conservative, I guess now. I haven't even really had sex yet, I haven't had any penetrative sex yet, and I finally have this moment after being a more promiscuous person. Most of it was trying to discover who I was and seeking validation in others, but now I'm doing the work mentally with my therapist and giving back to myself. So, I feel more I'm holding onto my sexual energy because it means something to me now, and I worked hard for it, and I suffered. I haven't really had sex, sex sex yet, but I masturbate, and I have amazing orgasms, and I had almost sex a couple times, oral sex with this guy and making out with another guy.

It's such a relief, it's such an amazing feeling, and I feel so much freer now. Unclothed, I can just be myself and really enjoy my body, and let other people enjoy my body without them, or myself, feeling shame. It's a really life-changing experience and such a breath of fresh air, because a lot of the things that I would have to worry about before with dating, and meeting guys, and being sexually active, I don't have to deal with. It's just such a big relief, and I'm so glad that I'm at this point in my life, and I'm mentally able to enjoy it, and know for what it is. I'm just taking it day by day, as a normal girl.

What do you want the general public to know about porn, and what do you want the general public to know about sex work?

I want the general public to know about porn, that it's a job, any other job. Just because it's not 9-to-5, just because it's not in an office, just because you don't have a degree, doesn’t mean it’s not a hard job. And not everybody should be doing it, I will say that, but for the people that do do it, they're an amazing group of individuals. I will say, some are damaged, I speak for myself, so you have to be kind of careful in dealing with them, just more attentive. And porn is a great experience, if you're mentally stable, to discover who you are sexually. But it's not an educational tool, it should not be taken as textbook for sexual relations, because if you guys only knew about what goes on behind the camera, you would probably not even watch it.

Sex work, I want people to know it's literally the foundation of the world. I wouldn't even say America, it's all over the world. It's going on whenever, 24 hours, 365 days of the year. Some of it has been done maliciously and enforced in a type of way, which I feel really bad about. I would never condone that type of violence to anybody, but unfortunately it happens. But I will say that sex work is work that should be respected, and praised, and honored because once again, like porn, it's a very hard job. I don't think a lot of things would be in place right now, functioning, if sex work didn't exist for people to get their escape, and their release, and their therapy, if you want to call it, to continue on with their daily life and their daily routines. It's as real as that.

It's been around for years, and I don't think this world would work without it, because behind every powerful man and woman, there's a sex worker that's holding them together with whatever other relationships they have. And I know, because I've been that other woman for many powerful men.

Advice for kids who might be at odds with their parents, or their school, or their peers? 

I would say to parents, this is a really trying time for everybody, and their identity and sexuality, because there's so many options. They just have to be very supportive and always educate themselves on the new, and what's going on in society because of course, kids are a sponge and they suck up everything that they see and hear. And so, you always have to, as parents, be aware of what's going on and be sympathetic to your child. If you feel that they're a little bit different, dig a little bit deeper and try to find out why in a caring way, not a judgemental way, and always support anything and support your children through whatever. Because when you don't, you never know what can happen when your children get out into this cruel world.

And for children, I would like to say, always stay true to yourself, don't sacrifice yourself for anybody. It may be rough where you're at and where you're from, but find a support group somewhere, somehow, there's online and do your research. And if you have to change a little bit for society until you're comfortable to be who you are, then that's okay as well. That's part of the progress, and a lot of people had to do that. It's called survival, so don't feel bad that you have to do that. But always stay true to yourself, and stay grounded, and go for your goals, and never let anyone tell you that you can't do anything that you really feel in your heart that you want to do.