Riley Reid: Safe Sex, Business & Porn
Podcast Transcript Season 3 Episode 44
Interviewer: Liz Goldwyn
Illustration BY Black Women Animate
The following is a transcript of the interview from the episode:
Liz Intro:
Hello, and welcome to The Sex Ed podcast. I’m Liz Goldwyn, your host and the founder of The Sex Ed, your #1 source for sex, health, and consciousness education. On our website TheSexEd.com, you can read original essays written by our network of experts, watch live talks and videos, listen to past episodes of this podcast, and sign up for our weekly newsletter. You can also follow us on Instagram @TheSexEd.
The Sex Ed is postively orgasmique to be partnered with GUCCI for your listening pleasure on this season of this podcast. That’s right, oh yes, GUCCI baby! We’re so grateful to GUCCI for sponsoring this episode and helping us answer everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask.
Today, my guest is adult superstar, Riley Reid. Her videos have been viewed over a billion times on PornHub, and she’s won countless awards, including AVN’s Female Performer of the Year and XBiz’s Best New Starlet. Riley and I talked about being the CEO of a porn brand with major millennial appeal; how YouTube is giving her a crossover fan base; what yoga has to do with anal; why she likes “vanilla” sex off camera and what she is learning about intimacy.
Liz Goldwyn:
Thank you so much for being here with me today.
Riley Reid:
Thank you for having me.
Liz Goldwyn:
It feels like so long ago that we had a conversation in person.
Riley Reid:
I feel that. It's so weird how one week everything was like normal, regular life, and then like in one day, I feel like everything just changed.
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah. I mean, in your business, what's porn like in the time of coronavirus? Because they imagine all production obviously got shut down.
Riley Reid:
All of the physical production had gotten shut down.
The whole industry is in-able to work. And there were some people who were still trying to work in the beginning of all of the madness. I think that they kind of didn't realize the extreme cases that the state and the government would go. And there was some companies that I personally had to cancel shoots with, because they wanted to continue shooting, and I was just ... I didn't think it was appropriate or even safe at the time.
And for a lot of these companies, I know that they also wanted to at least take a risk with me because my schedule and availability is so high. And like they, ... Some of these companies booked me six months ago, and then they're like, "We still want to try and get you because then it'll be ... Who knows how long when we can get you again."
But I just felt like they had to bite the bullet and take one for the team, because I can't ... I didn't want to condone the behavior. And people being able to shoot the content has definitely affected a lot of people, because not every adult actress does their own personal production, or their own like social media type of content, where there's the OnlyFans, which is a platform for adult entertainers to upload their own content, have a very like amateur experience with their fans. And it's kind of like a Twitter for anyone who doesn't know what OnlyFans is.
I know a lot of my girlfriends, who I've been encouraging for months and months and months to get on OnlyFans. It's really worth it, like, "You should do it." And some of them are kind of like an instant gratification. They just want to work and get paid same day, and then they're done.
And right now, it's the world of the long term gratification of the digital world of uploading your own solo content, interacting with your fans, because everyone's just sitting at home kind of sad and depressed. And you have this ability to kind of in a ... I don't want to make it sound like sick and twisted, but monopolize on it to an extent.
Liz Goldwyn:
And so, I would imagine that camming is going through the roof right now too.
Riley Reid:
I would imagine so. I personally haven't. I'm not really a cam star. I don't really have the patience to do that specifically. But I would imagine a lot of people who are cam stars are probably thriving at the moment.
Liz Goldwyn:
Have you noticed an uptick in downloads to your site of content?
Riley Reid:
I have noticed. I've had quite a large number of subscribers. It's kind of hard at the same time to really know if it is for sure the coronavirus that's caused it, because even I just look at my analytics and statistics, I kind of ... I grow every month, and I basically double every month since I've started. So it's hard to tell if it's really specifically the coronavirus that's increased my numbers.
But to some extent in the way of my fans messaging me, I've noticed a drastic change in the communication of people. One, because I have my ... I usually do sales on my content anyway, so I have like a $5 subscription. And most people are just usually like, "Thanks for the low price."
And now, a lot of people are like, "Thank you for the low price, especially during these times."
So a lot of people are bringing voice into the coronavirus, and then others are even just like, "I'm really happy to be able to watch your content in this time. In these dark times, your content really helps me and makes me feel good."
And those things like that, that really like ... those are the things that really empower me. And when people kind of like are like slut-shaming, and they're like, "What the fuck? You're just a slut on the Internet."
And I'm like, I've had so many fans, female and men tell me how I've positively impacted their life. And people who are like, "I'm suffering from depression, and like you bring smiles to my face."
And even some of my fans who've told me like, "I tried to jerk off to your videos, but then you make me laugh, and I have to get re-aroused and watch it again." Because it's like a mixture of me making them laugh and aroused. So it's nice to see how in these dark times, I'm able to help bring light into people's lives through my adult content.
Liz Goldwyn:
And help people masturbate, which we know is the safest sex you can have right now, right?
Riley Reid:
Yes, exactly.
Liz Goldwyn:
And I would love for you to explain what a Fleshlight is for listeners who may not be familiar.
Riley Reid:
Fleshlight is a sex toy that is basically a molding of a vagina or a butt-hole, and maybe it's like about 12 inches long of a sex toy that men can use to penetrate and use to basically jerk off with the silicone vagina or silicone asshole.
And so, it's a portable sex toy, though it's kind of like large in size, and it resembles a flashlight as to why it's called a Fleshlight. They do have other varieties. Like, one's called the Quick Shot that's maybe like six inches long, where it's kind of like a smaller, more portable, less obvious sex toy for men. So the Fleshlights are mainly a men-driven sex toy. I think they do sell like dildos and things, but their focus is for men.
Liz Goldwyn:
And they're modeled after famous adult stars like yourself. It's like your ... It's the porn version of a Vogue magazine cover.
Riley Reid:
Yes. They do have like their traditional kind of like basic nobody. It's just a standard Fleshlight.
Liz Goldwyn:
A basic nobody vagina.
Riley Reid:
I would be curious as to who it is replica-d after, but it is just ... They do have a couple models that are just like Fleshlights, and then there are their like high end Fleshlight girls, that are specific adult entertainers.
Liz Goldwyn:
And so, have you been selling a lot of the Riley Reid Fleshlights these days?
Riley Reid:
Yeah, I have. I have been selling quite a few of them. I've been giving some of them to my friends. I've been encouraging people to use their Fleshlight, or buy a Fleshlight, because I think it's a good time for people to enjoy themselves and masturbating, because you can't go on Tinder right now. At least you shouldn't be going on Tinder right now.
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah, let's have that Riley Reid PSA, because I feel like there still are a lot of people trying to get that quarantine-
Riley Reid:
That hook up.
Liz Goldwyn:
... that quarantine booty-
Riley Reid:
Yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah, that quarantine booty call in.
Riley Reid:
Yeah, I know. I have a friend of mine who actually works at Tinder, and he will occasionally post like ... during these times, he's like, "Tinder's doing really good."
And I always respond to all of them, and I'm like, "What do you mean Tinder's doing good? Like, people are supposed to be staying in their homes. They are not supposed to be sexually active with anyone other than their partner that they live with. Like, what are you talking about? Who are all these crazy people so that we know never to communicate with them?"
Like, it's absurd to me. But yes, I do not think that anyone should be hooking up with anyone unless you guys already live together. You don't want to have an awkward situation with your roommate, but at the same time, you could go there if you want, because it's already your roommate.
Liz Goldwyn:
Friends with benefits.
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
But you're enjoying the alone time, you told me the other day.
Riley Reid:
Yeah, I actually am. I mean, I've also personally lived alone since I was 18, and I haven't had a roommate. So for me, being alone is very much in my comfort zone and in my ... I'm like really happy with that. And so, I've been like really productive. I feel really fortunate because I have so many things to do with my life, that I am in a place to where I am not questioning like, "Who am I without my job that I usually do?"
I'm not like some bookkeeper who got laid off, and now I'm questioning who I am in my life. So I feel very fortunate that I've been able to keep working. I've been able to stay productive. I'm able to do random menial tasks that I've always wanted to do but never had the time to do.
So I feel really sad for anyone who's really struggling out there with not knowing what to do with their time or their selves, how to stay productive, how to challenge themselves in these times. I'm sure there's a lot of people are struggling.
Liz Goldwyn:
And what do you think of the initiatives that PornHub has done in this time with offering free premium content, Italy and New York, donating face masks to New York, and giving cash donations to the Sex Workers Outreach Project?
Riley Reid:
I feel like PornHub has always been a very community-driven company. I feel like anytime there has ever been any kind of world crisis, they've always gone out of their way to do some sort of donations or some sort of awareness, whether they're just bringing attention with their platform
There's multiple times where they've even just gone out of their way to help. There was this one performer who got robbed, and his car was broken into, and it was like right around Christmastime. And they sent him all this money and all this new equipment, so that he could make new content.
And it's just small things like that, that PornHub has always been really strong about being a part of the community and showing the world that they love mankind, They love people, and they want to help people. And the fact that they are going out of their way to do that when they don't have to, but that they do, to me, is so beautiful. And I hope that other communities will also realize that they can learn a little bit from the sex work community.
Liz Goldwyn:
They can learn a little from the sex work community. They can encourage, like you are, masturbation, instead of hooking up. And I'm sure you're getting a big influx of people asking you for nudes right now. We won't name any names.
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
Even though if you've asked this beautiful young woman for a nude in the last few weeks, I know who you are.
Riley Reid:
Yes, it is true. That person actually was, I think, trying to instigate some more nudes, because they were like, "It's my birthday." And I was like, "Happy birthday."
Liz Goldwyn:
Look at my Twitter feed.
Riley Reid:
I know.
Liz Goldwyn:
Look at my Twitter feed if you want to see my vagina and my asshole.
Riley Reid:
Yeah. It's so interesting how people want the personal aspect, like, "This has never been sent to anyone but me." It's kind of weird.
Liz Goldwyn:
Upcharge, upcharge, and give it to charity, baby.
Riley Reid:
Yeah. I'll send them my Venmo.
Liz Goldwyn:
I'm really intrigued by you as an entrepreneur. I was at the PornHub Awards that Asa hosted and you won top anal performer and top DP performer and so for people who... Anal I think is self-explanatory. DP is double penetration. But it was interesting because the PornHub Awards were awash with influencers and YouTubers.
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
And you kind of felt to me like major crossover in that category. No?
Riley Reid:
Yeah. It was amazing. Even like the performers, the music performers was like the Bad Bunny guy and he's a huge influence in like the Latin community. And he seeked me out to take photos with me and I was like, "Oh my God, you know who I am." I obviously know who you are, but it's really interesting to see like worlds colliding and everyone just really wanting to be together, know each other or do things together. And it's like interesting to see how porn has become so, it's trending, it's cool and hip and everything.
Liz Goldwyn:
I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that.
Riley Reid:
Really? Why?
Liz Goldwyn:
Not that, I'm saying if people are legitimately interested in you and what you do and take you seriously or respect you out of it. But I don't know how I feel about it being like something that people just dip their toes into and be like, "Cool, this is so taboo." I'm going to a PornHub Awards. But then like off of that they're not, they don't understand sex worker rights or they're... I think like you can't just decide to go into a scene because it gives you some sort of edge and makes you cool if you're not like really willing to stand up for those people who work in that scene.
Riley Reid:
I get that.
Liz Goldwyn:
You know what I mean?
Riley Reid:
I've got a few guy friends who've been like in the influencer world and now they're like dating some like ex-porn stars and they like kind of glamorize the fact, well she doesn't shoot anymore. And I'm like, "So what if she was shooting, is that the deal breaker? You like her because she is a famous porn star even though she's not shooting anymore." So I understand what you mean where I'm like, "I'm watching you. I don't know if I like that."
Liz Goldwyn:
Yeah. And I don't know if listeners of this program will be familiar with who Jake Paul is, but he's a big YouTuber... So he was there and I saw that you were on his, he has a YouTube show and this is a guy who has like millions of 14-year-old boy fans, which probably have a lot of crossover with you, right?
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
So how does that work when someone like him is saying to his young audience, this is my guest, she's a porn star. How do you take that opportunity? What do you do with that?
Riley Reid:
Well, when I did the Impulsive podcast, that specific podcast is something that he's trying to cater to a larger and adult audience. So it wasn't like I did one of his traditional YouTube channel vlog style things. And when I looked at the videos he had already shot at that time they were with people who I think he had like a sex therapist on there at one point as well. So I thought it would be a good opportunity for myself to put myself out there. And I was interested in meeting him because I was like, "You're this controversial person and I'm just so curious."
Also I didn't know that much about him and I don't think I realized that his audience was so young at the same time. To me, I'd never really realized that YouTube, at least his specific YouTube channel is catered to like 10 to 14 or whatever. And so when I was doing the Impulsive, to me I was like, "This is just like a regular podcast. We're talking about adult things," blah, blah, blah. Um, but I have noticed a significant difference in my fan base reaction when I'm out in public and people who know me from the YouTube world who may have never heard of me because of my adult content and I even have a lot of them where like, I've never watched your work but I know you from like David Dobrick or Logan Paul. And I've had, one specific instance that I thought was very uncomfortable. And I was like, "I don't know about this."
There was a young girl. She was petite, so she was like, yay high. To me she looked like nine years old and she wanted to do a photo with me and her mother was asking me to take a photo with her and I was just, "I don't know if you guys know who I am in the adult world, but I also do YouTube and things like that." So it is interesting and been a weird challenge for me to understand this crossover that I have created for myself and knowing how to set a boundary with it. But I also don't want to like tell people, "No, you can't take a photo with me because I am also not just a sex worker. So I'm not trying to limit myself in that way either." I would hope that one day that I can claim multiple identities and not just limit myself and say, "I can't do this because I do porn.
Liz Goldwyn:
I mean, I think you clearly have already... When I look at you, on my Twitter feed I've seen you naked, but I haven't watched your porns. But I think you're really interesting because you've had such a huge success in that world, but you are really actively and it seems like doing it yourself really creating a brand, that's outside of that, that's like leveraging it and it's a tricky place to walk where you are because I could see that some people might say, "Well, you have a responsibility because your audience is very young and you're in porn."
I imagine that situation where the girl wants to take a picture with you, we can't expect our stars to be role models all the time.
Riley Reid:
Yeah. One thing I love about Asa Akira, she said at one point, she's a role model. I'm misquoting it so I don't know it verbatim, but she says that she's a role model for like horny girls. She's not a role model for all girls, but for this specific type of girl, she thinks that she is a proper role model for them. If you're looking for anal sex, "I could be your role model," but I'm not necessarily, if you're asexual, I don't think I'm your role model or things like that. I wish I knew the exact quote she said, but it was very liberating and it helped me get like an understanding where it's, you can't expect any woman to be a proper role model or any man to be a proper role model for any person. You have to find your right role model that fits your identity.
Liz Goldwyn:
You've also done your own YouTube videos where you give reasons for kids not to go into porn.
Riley Reid:
I've talked about my own personal experiences as to why I think porn can be negatively impacting and as well as positively impacting. But I've had my own life experiences that I'm not sure if I would have questioned things differently if I would have been able to see through a crystal ball and know what my future had in store.
Liz Goldwyn:
What were some of the negative things about getting into porn?
Riley Reid:
I don't think I realized how immensely porn affects the way that the public views you and as well as the character you create for yourself. So one thing that I really like about doing my YouTube videos is that it gives people a perspective of me that they never understand or even thought could even exist. So when I'm shooting my scene, I'm usually like the step sister and you hear my dialogue and my narrative is so limited in what you can actually perceive. And so when I have the opportunity to expose myself, in such as like this podcast, people are like, "You have a voice that speaks more than just fuck me daddy." There's a lot of words that I can say. There's a lot of thoughts that I have. I have feelings and my heart is exposed and before I think anyone starts porn. I think that they should understand that your character will be viewed in the character you have developed in the media's eyes.
So, it's been a challenge I think for me to be able to humanize myself more. And I think in the last recent years I've been kind of adapting myself into that and embracing that I'm Ashley. I say my name is Ashley. I've like said my legal name in multiple places because I want people to see me beyond just Riley Reed sex symbol.
Liz Goldwyn:
So curious how you became Riley Reid sex symbol because growing up, you loved to sew dolls and you built your own doll houses and you got really... You were kind of a quiet kid at home making crafty.
Riley Reid:
I honestly don't know because when I look at myself as Ashley, I think that I am a more traditional character. I'm like a regular lady who likes to cook and hang out with her dog. I would love a family. I would love to be married. I have like a nice cute tidy house and all these things. So I have a very traditional mindset and for somehow I've been lured and seduced into experimenting more with myself and my sexuality and my body, and I'm not really sure how I developed into this. And I think I'm a little bit of a people pleaser to some extent.
And I like to make people happy and feel good and I'm kind of like a animated character. So I have fun and things and for whatever reason I think that with the camera and having sex, it lured me in some way, it enticed me. So I just started doing it and having fun.
Liz Goldwyn:
How old were you?
Riley Reid:
19. And I think the young age is a part of it as well. It was very easy to fall into it and like the money was good, the opportunity was good. I had never left the state of Florida prior to that. I come from like a lower income class family. And so having then the opportunity to travel to LA and then I very quickly was able to like go to New Zealand on a shooting trip and I got to like explore the world in ways that I never thought that I would before. And I guess I started to like analyze my life choices at that age. And at the time I wanted to be a teacher and-
Liz Goldwyn:
What'd you want to teach?
Riley Reid:
I was going to be like, I wanted to have a psychology major and there's a lot of mental illness that runs in my family. So I wanted to look into that. So I was either going to be like a psychology teacher or elementary school teacher because I also love children. So I thought that maybe I would go and do something like that. But then as I was teaching in high school, I did this program where I had a scholarship to go to school and one particular student that I tutored lived in her car with her mom and because the program was we can go to like urban schools and teach them and help them.
And it was in those moments that I felt like I don't know if I could actually do this because I'm such an empathetic person. I was like, "How am I going to go home and eat dinner and sleep in my bed knowing that my students don't have the same opportunities?" And so selfishly I decided I don't know if I could handle that all on my heart. Then porn somehow came into my life and I was like, "Maybe I'll try this."
Liz Goldwyn:
But you were sexually active before that.
Riley Reid:
Yes, I was very, extremely sexually active. And I felt very fortunate. I was never like slut shamed or anything like that. I'm like, does that really happen? Do people actually point at girls and call them a slut? It's so bizarre to me because I did not live that life at all and people just thought I was like free if anything. And people admired it and stuff so I never felt ashamed or reclused but I also went to like multiple different schools and things. So I don't know if that has something to do with it where I didn't grow up from elementary school or high school with the same people. I went to nine different elementary schools and three different high schools. So there was no real persona that people had grasped on for years. I don't know, it was a new identity kind of everywhere I went.
Liz Goldwyn:
Were are your parents really open about sex?
Riley Reid:
My dad wasn't, my dad is like a religious figure and he-
Liz Goldwyn:
What kind of religion?
Riley Reid:
Christianity and he was, I would wear like baggy clothes and he would be like, "Why are you dressed so seductive?" I'm like, "I can't help that I have good bone structure dad. I have a pretty face, what am I supposed to do?" But my mom was always like really welcoming to whatever we wear and our sexuality and she's like, "If you want to have sex, just tell me. If you want to do drugs, just tell me." And I felt very comfortable with her even with her being open like that, I just was always willing to communicate with her and I told her when I had sex, I told her when I wanted to start wearing thongs, underwear. And so it was never like a place of shame in my mom's household.
Liz Goldwyn:
Because you were sleeping with boys and girls when you were a kid?
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
And now I'm assuming too.
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
How'd your dad react to that? Or did he not know?
Riley Reid:
I never told him. And I think he eventually just figured it out as I got older. But we never had the conversation like I'm having sex dad. So with my mom it was just easier and less shameful. So that's why it felt comfortable to talk to her.
Liz Goldwyn:
It's interesting that your father was a religious figure, but you said he married his stepsister.
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
That must've not gone down very well in the church.
Riley Reid:
They became religious together after.
Liz Goldwyn:
So born again.
Riley Reid:
Yeah. They are born again. Sometimes I think about it and I wonder if my dad is religious because he can't control his temptations because he used to be an alcoholic. He would cheat on his wife and things like that. So I'm like, "Do you need God in order to help keep you tame”
Liz Goldwyn:
Or to forgive you, forgive you your sins.
Riley Reid:
Or both to forgive you and keep you in line because otherwise you'd cheat on your wife again and start drinking again.
Liz Goldwyn:
Not an easy childhood, it sounds like.
Riley Reid:
I don't think many of us have an easy childhood.
Liz Goldwyn:
A lot of it because we don't get good sex ed. We don't get to feel comfortable with ourselves before having children. So when did you first see porn?
Riley Reid:
I first saw porn at a young age. I was probably maybe like six or seven. I found like dirty magazines that were my dad's and I loved them. I remember the girls, not the guys so much, but I remember the girls posing and just thinking how beautiful they were and how sexy they were. And I felt arousal within myself and I was like, "I like this for some reason."
Liz Goldwyn:
So then you start learning to masturbate.
Riley Reid:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Liz Goldwyn:
What did you use?
Riley Reid:
I use my pillow. It was like a bumping grinder.
Liz Goldwyn:
So magazines, this is pre-PornHub.
Riley Reid:
Yeah, I didn't use the internet until like years later.
Liz Goldwyn:
And then how did you know where to start when you got into porn?
Riley Reid:
I think just like talking with my friends, it was the Xvideos type stuff or whatever. And I was always into girls. So I would just look up like two hot lesbians or something like that. I didn't really like watching boy-girl porn. So it was mostly lesbian content that I consumed.
Liz Goldwyn:
But how did you know who to contact? When you wanted to get-
Riley Reid:
To start porn. I thought you meant like watching porn.
Liz Goldwyn:
No. How do you go from, because you're from an outsider's perspective, you hear Riley Reid a billion views on a PornHub and your agent is this guy Mark Spiegler who represents a lot of the top girls in the industry. And he is kind of, I think he's kind of fabulous. But if you imagine your total stereotype of what a porn agent would be, it's Mark Spiegler.
Riley Reid:
A hundred percent. The first time I saw him I met him onset with... It was like onset and I fell in love with this other performer, Skin Diamond, she's a...
Liz Goldwyn:
I know who she is.
Riley Reid:
She's stunning and so beautiful and sexy and so kind. And it was the first time I had met her and I fell in love. And then her agent came to set to check everything out and meet some of the people and he always brings like snacks. And I saw him and I just wanted to hold her in my arms and keep her safe. And I was like, "Is this man making you do things you don't want to do?" Because if you look at him, he does look like, this guy kind of looks maybe creepy and you're like, well, I don't know. He looks kind of shady, but he's the sweetest, most gentle giant that I've ever met. I love him so much. But I actually started with another agency, what were they called? Type 9 modeling. And I was Florida-based and I was actually stripping at the time.
So I was going to college and I totaled my car and my commute was over an hour-long commute and I didn't want to like take the city transportation. So at the time I had a boyfriend that would sometimes take me to the strip club. I love strip clubs and I remember that they had amateur nights where the winner makes like $500 and then she keeps her tips. So I was, "I'll do amateur night at the strip club so I can get some money to put down on a car because I don't have money." When I went to the strip club, I didn't win the amateur night but they offered that I could keep working.
So I kept working at the club for maybe a month or two and I call myself a dolphin and not a shark because I'm not good at getting people to give me money. I'm really good at base pay jobs. Tell me what I have to do and how much I'm getting paid and I can do it. But I don't know how to hustle people. So I ended up telling one of the girls that I was going to strip, I mean I was going to quit stripping and she was like, "Well why don't you do porn?" And I was like, "I don't know, porn seems weird and shady. I'm not sure if I could do that." And she offered me a gig as an extra, so I was an extra in the first five porn scenes that I shot. And-
Liz Goldwyn:
What do you do as an extra?
Riley Reid:
I was just the girl dancing in the background.
Liz Goldwyn:
But just topless or nude.
Riley Reid:
No I was dressed and you just had to have like a sexy thong underneath and like the camera might come like under and see under your dress a little bit and they paid you $300 and that was already more than I was making at the strip clubs. I was like, "Fuck yeah, I'll do that." And I live in Miami. I was already dancing and showing people my thong in the club anyway. So to me it I was like, "This is totally fine and amazing." So as I did that, I just watched how... I thought it was just so fun and sexy and it was legit and professional to watch these people have sex. There was paperwork involved. They checked our IDs and all these things that I-
Liz Goldwyn:
Testing.
Riley Reid:
Yeah, there was testing and everything. So I never thought of porn in that way. And I also never thought I was... It never even occurred to me to even consider doing porn. And I like made up in my head that porn was... Because I also watched amateur content, so I assumed that people like you and I would shoot a lesbian scene in our house and then mail it to Bang Bros and then they would mail us a check. I don't know why I created that in my head, but I didn't even know the first thing about the adult industry.
So as an extra, I really got the opportunity to see behind the scenes of what it was like and if it was something that I considered or wanted to do. And as I did each scene, I slowly, slowly became more aroused and it was, "I think I want to do this. I have so much fun." So I started... I asked Bang Bros to shoot my first scene and then I got an agent and here I am today.
Liz Goldwyn:
But I mean from that to Mark Spiegler, was that immediate or was it a couple of years?
Riley Reid:
I was with my other agent for two years and I didn't even know about Mark Spiegler. I didn't really know about much of the agencies. I didn't know at the time who Sasha Grey was. I didn't know who Asa Akira was because as I said, I would just look up two hot lesbians. I didn't really like look for people's names before anything. So when I thought of a porn star, I thought of Pamela Anderson. I didn't even think I could be a famous porn star because I thought that you needed to have big boobs and blonde hair. And that was actually one thing that my first agent told me. He was like, "If you want to be a big star, you should get a boob job and dye your hair blonde." And I was like, "I don't know, I want to do that." And I also think it's funny because I'm like, "I didn't even do that and look at me now."
But I just kept working and shooting just because I really enjoyed it and I enjoyed the opportunities that it brought to me. And at the time it was what made me happy and it gave me everything I wanted and I eventually met Mark Spiegler and he took me on like right away. I think he saw the potential I had and the brand that I was growing for myself. And I think I joined with Mark Spiegler in 2013 or something like that. And then I've been with him and I felt very fortunate that both of my agents were really good to me and never asked me to do things I didn't want to do. And they helped direct my career in the right direction and they helped me make the right career decisions and how to navigate what to do with what scenes, when to do my first anal, who to do it for when like all of these things that you don't really know as a performer if you've never even learned about the industry.
Liz Goldwyn:
So how does that work? When should one do their first anal? Did you hold that as long as possible?
Riley Reid:
To some extent, yeah. One, I mean it's your body and your choice and if you love anal sex and that's something you want to do, by all means do it. And if you don't love it, by all means you never have to do it. There's plenty of porn to be consumed without anal play. And for me, actually I didn't think I would ever do anal sex and it wasn't until one day because there's so much ass licking and porn. And I remember at the time, before my pussy would pulsate if someone's licking my ass. And then finally there came a point to where when someone was licking my pussy, my ass was like pulsating for attention.
And I was like, "I think I'm ready for anal now." And at that point it was 2015 so I'd been in for five years at that point. And Spiegler helped me figure out the right company to do it with and navigate who's a good performer, who's not going to use and abuse me or is going to understand that this is my first time and I don't-
Liz Goldwyn:
Your first time on or off camera.
Riley Reid:
I had, had anal sex prior, once or twice with a lover, like years before. But it was in high school I tried anal sex with a boy and it was horrible. And then I had anal sex one other time prior to that, but I just didn't enjoy it. And so I'd also just don't think I was in the right place in my mindset and sexuality just wasn't there.
Liz Goldwyn:
Probably your partner wasn't skilled either.
Riley Reid:
Yeah. I think that's that. But for me, it's like even today, I don't shoot a lot of anal. I shot anal like a couple days ago and it's a process. I always say, if I never did yoga, I don't think I would've been able to do anal because it's all with your breath. It's like all with your breath and knowing how to relax and be calm and do it on your own pace and things like that.
Liz Goldwyn:
A friend of mine, Betony Vernon, who's in Great Mistress of the Ropes, the first time she tied me up, she kept on saying to me, remember your yoga, be in your body. And so some people might think, "That's crazy for ropes and yoga." But I think a lot of times we think of sex as a way to escape being in our body. We were like trying to not be in our body at all. We're just trying to get to this orgasm.
Riley Reid:
It's all about your body. Especially with yoga, it can be a painful experience. The yoga, it's like you're stretching muscles and you're putting yourself in positions that aren't the most comfortable and it can be somewhat painful. And I think sex can also do that as well. So yeah, I think in the ropes or a dick in your ass, there's an ability to be in an uncomfortable position. And so when you're able to like breathe and relax and release the tension, I think that yoga has helped me a lot with being able to do that.
Liz Goldwyn:
You heard it here. Yoga for anal sex. So was your family, didn't know what you were doing when you were first starting to strip and do your first scenes, were you involved with them or had you left home at this point?
Riley Reid:
I was still living at home when I was shooting in Miami and I actually didn't tell my mom until I had my first flight booked to go to LA.
I don't know why I didn't want to tell my family and I actually didn't even tell my friends and they all found out very shortly after, on the hub, somehow someone saw me or something. When I did tell my mom, the only thing she was concerned about was it being like a casting couch and I explained to her, I was like, "I've already been doing this. I did it as an extra, saw how professional it was." And she was also just like, "You're 18, you can do whatever you want." It's not that she maybe necessarily supported me, but she was like, "This is your life. So you live it, you make your mistakes or you figure yourself out." Which I am very grateful for her not controlling me and being, "You can't leave my house." Because I'm sure my dad kind of would've been that way.
But me and my dad I think at this time weren't really speaking because I was kind of staying with him for a minute and then he kicked me out because I lied about going to a party and I was, "Well that's stupid. Teens go to parties, you're going to kick me out for it." He just eventually I think found out through the family, because my whole family somehow found out, I don't even remember, but I remember one of my aunts calling me crying and she was like, "Why are you doing this?" And it was just so bizarre and interesting to me because she was crying but not first speaking to me to see if I'm happy with my life choices and... If I was, "Yeah, I'm doing this and I'm not happy, then okay cry." But I was, "I'm doing this for me and I'm really happy with it. So why are you crying? This isn't about you. This is my body and my choice."
Liz Goldwyn:
She was probably, she was reflecting on how it reflects on her-
Riley Reid:
It could very well possibly-
Liz Goldwyn:
... Or how it reflects on your family.
Riley Reid:
It could be, but I don't know if that's why she was crying. I could understand her being upset because that's something I do understand. I don't like saying that it doesn't affect them because I know that it does. I know it's like an awkward conversation. I know if they have family photos of me and someone comes over, then they're going to be, "Is that Riley Reid? What is she doing in your group family photo." So I do understand that it affects everyone I know and it ends up affecting them in some way, but at the same time I think that there is just a difference in respecting my choice and being more first concerned if I'm happy before you're just crying and freaking out because I'm shooting porn.
Liz Goldwyn:
And your mom was wanting to get into porn too?
Riley Reid:
Yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
As Riley Reid's mom?
Riley Reid:
I like the way you asked that. Yes, very sadly so, she did.
Liz Goldwyn:
Did she do it?
Riley Reid:
I mean, I don't know. I would hope not. We don't actually really talk. After that situation, I kind of just stopped talking to her because we weren't able to see from a leveled eye. And I wanted her to be more understanding of where I was coming from in the aspect of, I didn't think that it was appropriate and I was trying to get her to understand that I'm the weird kid at school already, so please don't make me weirder. Society already has this really negative perception of me, so don't make it worse for me please. And I think it was really hard for her to want to be accepting of that.
My mom's also just always been very prideful. So I think that, that is also a part of it. But yeah, we don't communicate. I was actually just talking to a friend about it last night where I was trying to navigate, if I want to reintroduce the conversation into trying to get her to see eye to eye with me on where I'm coming from.
Liz Goldwyn:
With why you don't want her to do porn as Riley Reid’s mom?
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
I need to look up this movie for you. It's a 1930s movie, Jean Harlow and she's playing a version of herself, who she becomes this famous... Do you know who Jean Harlow was?
Riley Reid:
Yes.
Liz Goldwyn:
Platinum blonde. She becomes this famous starlet and her whole family is along for the economic ride, like her entire... She's taking care of her entire family, but they're really taking advantage of her. And so you've got like the mom and it's kind of that situation.
Riley Reid:
For years, I took care of my family and I used to excuse them by being, destiny had me do porn so that I could help my family that struggles. And maybe this was a part of my... This is a part of the way that I'm supposed to help them. Then I was like, "That's stupid. You're just trying to excuse their negative behavior and kind of glorifying it when you just need to accept that they're taking advantage of you. And then I just tried to cut them off and slowly, and then when I cut her off and stopped helping support her, that's when she has to do porn as my mom. And I was, "That's weird."
Liz Goldwyn:
That must feel awful to have... Family's complicated, right? And sometimes the family is the people that you meet in life and not necessarily your blood, but having people that want something from you, but then also have sort of a stigma on what you're doing to make that money.
Riley Reid:
Yeah, it sucks. I feel like I would feel that way no matter who I was. If I was the Jean Harlow or if I was Leonardo DiCaprio and then my Leonardo's dad is like, "I'm going to be Leo's dad as an actor now." And it's, just because you do that doesn't mean you'll succeed. Just because I started a TV show doesn't mean your TV show will succeed. There's plenty of porn stars in the world. And how many of them are Riley Reid? Not very many. There's only a few of the Asakura's and the Riley read's, there's not that many that get the opportunity to be beyond the Adult entertainment industry. So the fact that my mom wants to ride that train instead of being happy for me and then finding whatever her, I don't know, whatever her opportunity is, but it does suck.
I try to think about it and I'm like, "Will I ever get my mom back?" And I don't know if I will because I don't know if I'm even willing to allow that opportunity because I can't see her beyond this person that she's now created herself to be in my mind.
Liz Goldwyn:
Boundaries.
Riley Reid:
Yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
Boundaries, and maybe you'll come to a place where that works for you and works for her. When was the point in which Riley Reid became a character in a business? Because the way you're describing it to me, you kind of started out 19, this is fun, I'm making some money. But then, now you're speaking about it like Riley Reid, the brand. When does that happen?
Riley Reid:
I think that happened. It started in 2015 I would say. But at that time I was still not understanding of my capabilities beyond porn, but that's when I won a bunch of awards. I like became a Fleshlight girl. So I realized the opportunities that I had were starting to grow beyond just my adult entertainment.
I got the Fleshlight and things and I don't think that the brand thing really took off for me until I broke up with my ex boyfriend, which was in 2017 and that was when my ex wanted me to quit porn and I realized how happy porn makes me and I just really got into, at that point, I had just started like really getting into directing my own scenes for my website. And I had gotten, one of my scenes back that I kind of made the focal point around one other girl. So I was able to really be behind the camera and not like directing and starring.
I was mostly just directing. And when I got the content back, I was crying, so happy. Because it was so beautiful and I was so happy with it. And while I was like mid crying tears of happiness, my ex boyfriend called me to complain about some tweets that I did for promoting an anal scene and he was like really insecure about it and I was just, "Okay, I think I want to break up with you." And in that moment I really just started to throw myself in my work and that's when I really I started building myself more and more and since then I've kind of just created a separation of Riley Reid as this brand and that I'm working on building and growing.
Liz Goldwyn:
Well you have like a branded phone case for your cell phone, which is a drawing of you deep-throating a banana with a backwards baseball hat on.
This is like a whole cottage industry. You're running it yourself. You're the CEO and founder of Riley Reid.
Riley Reid:
Yes. It's weird when you say it like that. But yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
I mean, but when I'm there in the audience at the PornHub Awards and seeing all these YouTubers and seeing you on stage and hearing that you've got a billion views to me, if Riley Reid is a brand that has a billion views on PornHub then Riley Reid is kind of like porn Coca-Cola.
Riley Reid:
Yeah. People know my name and my face. So I think it is kind of like a hand in hand type of thing.
Liz Goldwyn:
And then, but what will they buy from you? Do you think that that your alignment with porn like segregates you to that category or do you want to be able to sell people phone cases and t-shirts and all that stuff.
Riley Reid:
I've definitely wanted to do more research into my demographic because I've wanted to be able to sell merchandise and who knows? If I could start selling wine, is wine something that it's, is that my demographic where I can make a Riley Reid branded wine or Riley Reid branded jewelry or things like that. I mean personally I think it's mostly a male audience that I would kind of like look at and seeing what they would be interested in. But a 100% I do... I sold a lot of these phone cases like all the time and sometimes some of my friends have been like, you should do this, but smaller images around the phone because it's so in your face out there, like he was, maybe you would have more people willing to buy it if it wasn't so pornographic and-
Liz Goldwyn:
But that's your brand.
Riley Reid:
Yeah, it is my brand. But I also feel like there is a way to cater things maybe a bit more subtly. Like my billboard, my billboard is not porn in your face. It's me holding a book reading and it says, read every day rileyreid.com or readmylips.com so it's not porn smacking you right in the face. Which was kind of like my intention, at least with the billboard was to be something more slightly subtle and catching your eye without you being, "I can't look at this because it's so vulgar and everything."
Liz Goldwyn:
What's the dream?
Riley Reid:
I don't know. It's so hard to say that because the only thing that's constant is change. And even when I first started, I was like, "I'll do this for five years." And then five years in is when I just really started to take off and now it's going to be 10 years. So I think right now my goal is to somehow transcend more into the real world in the sense of where I'm not just this pornographic image to people and I don't know if it's getting, what the seal of approval is. Like, do I go to school and study some sort of like psychology of sex? I felt so small in the world and I thought that porn was so limiting. And I realized the more that I've been able to create this brand, the more opportunity I have in porn doesn't need to be limiting. You can be in porn and do more.
So I want to be able to become this household name where she's a porn star and this. She's a porn star and something else like more than just the sex workers. I know I'll always have the porn star, which I don't ever want to remove that because I want it to show that sex workers can be accepted at home because I feel like we should have that opportunity of being not so taboo. And I don't know if it's appropriate or not, but I think that it would be really cool if we could be back in the real world and not so segregated from society.
Liz Goldwyn:
And speaking of as someone who's have so many hours of experience having sex, what kind of sex ed advice do you find yourself in the position of giving when like younger people approach you or ask you questions?
Riley Reid:
I think that people just need to pay attention to the things that they're naturally interested in and not be so, porn is not sex education. I want people to know, don't learn from porn and a lot of things that porn doesn't show is that it doesn't show the behind the scenes of the before and after of us communicating what are you okay with? What are you consenting to? Because in the sense that porn can be very male dominating and the woman acting almost as if maybe she's not enjoying it or she is enjoying it. And most of the time porn stars are enjoying the male dominating sex.
But there is no... The only website that does the after reels of did you consent to this? Did you like this is kink.com and I think it's just because their website is so extreme. But if Bang Bros as well took the opportunity to record people and say, "Hey, did you condone this sexual behavior? Did you mind having a FemDom scene? Did you mind playing the babysitter or playing incest and reiterating, he is not my stepdad." We are performance actors and things like that. So I feel like that people as much as porn is this fantasy, and I think that's a part of why these things aren't in it. I think it's important to express to people that it's okay to have your fetishes and your sexuality. But the main importance is to explain what consent is and communication, I think communication is something that we don't express enough about. And I think people are just too scared and so if you force people into these awkward conversations, it helps them learn how to become better at it.
Liz Goldwyn:
Well, you have that experience. Most people can't have those awkward conversations, so how does that like transition from what you do on camera to your personal life? Do you need to be with someone who's got a certain degree of comfortability in their sexuality and ability to communicate or do you find yourself having to play teacher?
Riley Reid:
I would say both. I'm actually not really in the dating atmosphere at the moment, but from my past experiences it was pretty... I actually have pretty like vanilla sex in my personal life. So I think it's kind of like the whole same, when the chef is cooking at work, he doesn't want to come home and cook. So it's the same thing for the porn star. I don't want to be this... At least me personally, I don't care to be this crazy porno person. I also climax better when it's like an intimate setting and I'm having closed sex, not open to the camera sex. So I think in the past it's been pretty mutual of us being comfortable with our sexuality and our bodies. And at the moment though, I'm not really dating people or really like having sex off camera.
Liz Goldwyn:
When you're behind the camera directing porn, what kind of porn do you like to make?
Riley Reid:
I like to make more artsy on vanguard type porn. So, some of the porn scenes I make are actually not... They don't maybe do that well as I would've hoped or whatever. I can't remember the name of one of the movies but I could show you. But there's one scene that I did that's called dominate us and I made it really bizarre and weird and it has weird sounds and static and sometimes it goes totally silent and it's... To me it's artistic and beautiful just because that's what I really like and I've had quite the number of male audience fans be like, "Well I don't know if I like this". Or I've done some extreme makeup where I have white eye mascara and white eyebrows and it's like... To me it's on vanguard and almost fashion editorial. And people were like, "You look like a weird albino". And I'm like, "No, it's artistic and beautiful".
So, sometimes I will shoot scenes that are catered to the audience where it's like I play the stepsister or this... Or whatnot. But-
Liz Goldwyn:
Is that your main genre that you're know for? Incest porn?
Riley Reid:
Well I think I'm just typecast as the teen. So, I mean, I don't shoot MILF porn, look at me. So, I think as just like... I wouldn't say necessarily incest porn, but teen porn. So, it's like either... It's either the incest or I'm fucking my brother's hot friend or things like that. So, I've very few times have played the hot wife. And then I remember my first hot wife scene and I was joking with the company and was like, "Is this just because you guys have so much content on me, you need something different?".
Liz Goldwyn:
And you don't like doing the incest storylines right?
Riley Reid:
No. I don't. I'll shoot them. But I don't like saying dad or mom. To me, it's just weird. It's just fucking weird.
Liz Goldwyn:
If you could, what's your favorite type of porn to shoot?
Riley Reid:
I think like... I like to do vanguard, like fem dom type stuff.
Liz Goldwyn:
With other women or?
Riley Reid:
With other women, I think. But I want it to be very pretty and it's like the Dita Von Teese type where it's very elegant and classy and I'm dominating. But yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
Have you seen the old Rocco Zafredi porns? Do you know who he is?
Riley Reid:
I know who he is, but I haven't looked up his older-
Liz Goldwyn:
Oh, they're very glamorous. It's very beautiful. Very Vaseline on the lens and Amazon type women in beautiful clothes.
Riley Reid:
Yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
Very French Riviera.
Riley Reid:
Yeah. That's my vibe. That's what I'm into. I like it to look high class and also somewhat amateur at the same time where it's not too overproduced but still very elegant at the same time.
Liz Goldwyn:
What do you think about this whole new wave of feminist ethical porn and filmmakers? Like Erika Lust, etc?
Riley Reid:
Oh, Erika Lust is one of my favorite directors. She has a scene... Is it horny beasts or something like that? And it's just so beautiful. I mean, to me I think it's amazing because it's the stuff that I like. To me, it's personally very tasteful for what I'm interested in watching and I'm not necessarily interested in the hyper Gonzo content.
So, I think it's amazing and I can only hope that we have more and that it creates an audience that's larger and bigger because, to me, I think it's what porn needs to help make it less aggressive and I think right now people just look at porn in such an aggressive manner and if they can see that there's this beautiful art that is attached to it, they can be like... They'll be surprised and be like, "Oh wow, this is like a movie or like a music video not porn".
Liz Goldwyn:
But do you use video to masturbate to? Or do you use your imagination? Or books? Or audio? Or?
Riley Reid:
I'll use either books or photos or my imagination. I don't really watch videos anymore. Most of my life I enjoy just looking at photos and it could be because I found the Playboy books when I was young.
Liz Goldwyn:
Same. I found my dad's Playboys.
Riley Reid:
Yeah. Are you also into photos?
Liz Goldwyn:
I like books. I like my imagination. I have... I mean, I started collecting vintage porn when I was a teenager. So, I love like... I have 19th century porn... Like 18th and 19th century porn and early 20th century porn and I'm less interested once we get past the 70s. I would steal my dad's 70s Playboys.
Riley Reid:
Yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
So, that was the childhood stuff and then when I was like 13, 14 getting into Betty Page and Irving Klaw and those early, forties bondage pictures. I'm not that interested in contemporary porn. I feel like it does... I feel like it is teaching people, especially young men. It's giving them this like... It's hard to go to real life from that.
I mean, I think it's good to switch up if you're only watching porn to masturbate. I think it's good to start maybe reading something or listening to something or looking at a picture.
Riley Reid:
Yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
Because it's going to be hard when you're with a real human being. No?
Riley Reid:
I mean, it might be. I'm not totally sure just because of my own personal experience, but I think it could be. But I don't... I'm not really sure at the same time because like I said, I used to be super slut and now that's not what I want at all and I've developed to be quite the opposite and very vanilla. So.
Liz Goldwyn:
What's vanilla? Like missionary?
Riley Reid:
I just... Vanilla in the sense of where I just want one monogamous sexual partner and just like... Yeah, like I mean missionary. I mean, the regular positions. I guess I just mean like, I don't want to be like gang bangs. I don't want to do all these crazy, high intense sex acts or whatever. I mean, I still like sucking dick and things like that. I'm sure I'd be into some sort of naughty things with my personal person. But I don't... I'm not looking to be used and abused in a hyper-sexual way.
Liz Goldwyn:
Just find a nice, loving person to be intimate with.
Riley Reid:
Yeah.
Liz Goldwyn:
What are you still learning about sex?
Riley Reid:
Now I think I'm learning more about the, I think I'm learning more about the intimacy levels of sex and wanting to be with someone who's like more I guess traditional. I used to be so slutty most of my life, I'm 28 and I would say that I've changed probably within the last two years. And so this is a whole type of person that I didn't even know to exist. And for a while I was like, is my libido down or something, what's wrong with me? And so I think that one thing that I'm learning is that your sexuality is constantly changing and adapting.
And so you have to be willing to sit back and relax and just go with the flow of who you develop to be over the years. And because the only thing that's constant is change. So you might be slutty at one point, but that doesn't always mean you will be.
Liz Goldwyn:
What does intimacy look like for you?
Riley Reid:
For me, intimacy has changed into just basically like hanging out with a friend, but you are just so deeply passionate about that person. So to me, intimacy is beyond even touching someone or anything. I think it's like the eye contact and the just like the frequency you share between energy. And that's what I've learned to be intimate for me.
Liz Goldwyn:
Before it was just sex as a way to avoid vulnerability.
Riley Reid:
I guess sex and cuddling, I thought intimacy was cuddling and kissing and holding hands. But I as I've gotten older I'm, no intimacy is the energy exchange between people.
Liz Goldwyn:
I like that. Thank you.
Riley Reid:
Thank you.
Liz Outro:
That was my conversation with Riley Reid. You can visit her website, ReidMyLips.com, for videos, merch, and more. That’s R E I D My Lips.com. She can be found on Instagram @TitsOutKickedOut, and Twitter @RileyReidX3.
Once again, a huge thank you to GUCCI for sponsoring this episode. You can find all things GUCCI via their website, GUCCI.com, and on instagram, @GUCCI.
Until next time, you can read exclusive content on TheSexEd.com, follow us on instagram @TheSexEd, and listen to past episodes anywhere podcasts are streamed. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts.
The Sex Ed is hosted by me, Liz Goldwyn. This episode was recorded and edited by Jeremy Emery and produced by Chloe Cassens. Lewis Lazar made all of our music, including the track you’re listening to right now.
As always, The Sex Ed remains dedicated to expanding your orgasmic health and sexual consciousness.